Me, male 'Mama'
Me, male 'Mama'
Updated 02:04am (Mla time) Jan 06, 2005
By Dante C. Argaoza
Inquirer News Service
Editor's Note: Published on page A14 of the January 6, 2005 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer
RAISING children is not easy. It can be most challenging work--especially for a single male, more so, when the children are not his.
Nevertheless, I accepted the challenge of motherhood early in life, and I can say truly in my heart that raising children can be very fulfilling indeed.
I have five children. They love me as they would have loved their own mother in much the same way that I love them like my own dear children. Our love for one another is one that is obviously very mutual.
Needless to say, I am playing a dual role--that of a father and a mother, and I am dead sure I love every minute of it. I cannot describe or explain the pleasure of this very rewarding experience.
They came into my life as very young kids. And I took care of them. Today, I still send three of them to school; the first two have finished college and are now working abroad.
Eva was entrusted to me by a relative. He was then in the military service, assigned to Mindanao. He had found a baby girl all by herself, in a war zone, crying her heart out to no one. Maybe, her parents had died in a crossfire, he thought. After diligent efforts to find her relatives failed, he decided to take her home. But being a family man himself with several children, he could not afford to have one more mouth to feed. I was at first hesitant because of my job, but the "maternal" instinct in me prevailed and I accepted her, rearing her like my real daughter. I named her Eva.
Not long after, another relative found an abandoned baby girl. He also left the baby with me--albeit on a temporary arrangement--while he searched for her parents and relatives. When he couldn't find them, he decided to turn over the baby to the local social welfare office. But the little girl would have none of it; she had found a playmate in Eva and was bent on staying with us. I had her baptized Maria Corazon.
Thus began my full-time parenting. I sent both of them to school, took care of them like a real "mother" should. I saw them grow up into two young ladies. And they showered me with the respect and love due a real mother.
Eva took up Psychology and is now happily based in the United States with a good job. Maria Corazon finished Nursing and, soon after, left for Canada where she now works. How I miss both of them. Now I only have nostalgic memories of them when they were babies.
The other three are actually my brother's children. He passed away when they were very young; and I took it upon myself to take them into my parental care. Marion King, called "Bunsoy" for short, is now 15 and in his junior year in high school. He is still not certain what to take up in college, although he talks of college life quite often nowadays. A very fine young boy--tall and handsome--he reads a lot on mythology, science and the like. We also talk about many topics. We even discuss Humanities, the subject I have been teaching in college for many years.
Mabel Dantean is 14 and is getting to be a very pretty young girl. She towers over other girls of her age. She likes to play the flute and other musical instruments, but I wish she'd learn how to sing. "Then, send me to a voice school," she had dared me, and come summer, I am just about to do that. Mark Kenneth, fondly called "Bolong," is only 12 and is just into dreams, just dreams, for now.
I really did not know how Maria Corazon and Eva turned from girls to women. Perhaps, they just kept it to themselves. It was different with Mabel who had a terrible stomachache when she had her first monthly period. I was at a loss what to do. I thought of rushing her to a hospital, except that a female relation told me to take it easy: it was just dysmenorrhea, which is quite very common among females, and a tablet of Midol would solve the "mess." So, that was it, some lesson for a male mother.
Eva, Maria Corazon, Bunsoy, Mabel and Bolong. They are the "loves "of my life. They have been my inspiration. They are the ones who have kept me--and still keeps me--going.
There certainly had been many trials, but on the whole, there had been more fulfilling moments. Sometimes, the weather is very hot and I don't feel like going to work, but I have to--to finance our needs and the needs are growing as the years fly.
There were instances when it would be raining hard and I'd find out that I do not have an umbrella and the streets are flooded, and it is still a long, long way from work in Manila to home in Bulacan. But I would go, eager to reach home because my "babies" are there and they are looking forward to my coming home. My meal would be ready and they would have stories to tell about school and their friends.
Many times I had to take them to the doctors for their regular, well-baby check up. There were those times when they had to be confined and I had to keep watch and start worrying where to get the money to finance their hospitalization. But God has always been very good. I have a good job; and I have very supportive siblings--one is in America and she has a wonderful job and knowing my predicament, she would come to the rescue when needed. God bless her soul.
I had also experienced the boundless joy of pinning on them medals of honor, (nightly, I take time out to help them with their homework) attending parent-teachers associations, getting their cards, and preparing their daily "baon" (meals). I likewise have gone through wonderful times bringing them to the zoo, to the mall, to the church for their first communion, to art exhibits, even to concerts, to just about anywhere that would add to the education they are getting in school. I cannot remember the many birthday parties they had celebrated year after year after year. Since I am a camera buff, I captured all those moments with glee in my camera, and it is such a beautiful experience reliving those great moments going through the photographs.
I was the one who first taught them the alphabets and numbers, how to read and write. I brought them to school on their first day of classes. Today, I still tell them stories about life. I have encouraged them to study well, offering as models my first two "babies" who have finished their studies and now have good jobs.
Bunsoy, Mabel and Bolong miss their two "ates" as terribly as I do. They believe they are real siblings because I made them think so. I have never seen them jealous of one another.
Given the chance to go through life again, I would not hesitate living the kind of life I am living now, with five wonderful children raised as my own, forever my loves and my life.
Dante C. Argañoza, 60, is a college professor and cultural worker.
Updated 02:04am (Mla time) Jan 06, 2005
By Dante C. Argaoza
Inquirer News Service
Editor's Note: Published on page A14 of the January 6, 2005 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer
RAISING children is not easy. It can be most challenging work--especially for a single male, more so, when the children are not his.
Nevertheless, I accepted the challenge of motherhood early in life, and I can say truly in my heart that raising children can be very fulfilling indeed.
I have five children. They love me as they would have loved their own mother in much the same way that I love them like my own dear children. Our love for one another is one that is obviously very mutual.
Needless to say, I am playing a dual role--that of a father and a mother, and I am dead sure I love every minute of it. I cannot describe or explain the pleasure of this very rewarding experience.
They came into my life as very young kids. And I took care of them. Today, I still send three of them to school; the first two have finished college and are now working abroad.
Eva was entrusted to me by a relative. He was then in the military service, assigned to Mindanao. He had found a baby girl all by herself, in a war zone, crying her heart out to no one. Maybe, her parents had died in a crossfire, he thought. After diligent efforts to find her relatives failed, he decided to take her home. But being a family man himself with several children, he could not afford to have one more mouth to feed. I was at first hesitant because of my job, but the "maternal" instinct in me prevailed and I accepted her, rearing her like my real daughter. I named her Eva.
Not long after, another relative found an abandoned baby girl. He also left the baby with me--albeit on a temporary arrangement--while he searched for her parents and relatives. When he couldn't find them, he decided to turn over the baby to the local social welfare office. But the little girl would have none of it; she had found a playmate in Eva and was bent on staying with us. I had her baptized Maria Corazon.
Thus began my full-time parenting. I sent both of them to school, took care of them like a real "mother" should. I saw them grow up into two young ladies. And they showered me with the respect and love due a real mother.
Eva took up Psychology and is now happily based in the United States with a good job. Maria Corazon finished Nursing and, soon after, left for Canada where she now works. How I miss both of them. Now I only have nostalgic memories of them when they were babies.
The other three are actually my brother's children. He passed away when they were very young; and I took it upon myself to take them into my parental care. Marion King, called "Bunsoy" for short, is now 15 and in his junior year in high school. He is still not certain what to take up in college, although he talks of college life quite often nowadays. A very fine young boy--tall and handsome--he reads a lot on mythology, science and the like. We also talk about many topics. We even discuss Humanities, the subject I have been teaching in college for many years.
Mabel Dantean is 14 and is getting to be a very pretty young girl. She towers over other girls of her age. She likes to play the flute and other musical instruments, but I wish she'd learn how to sing. "Then, send me to a voice school," she had dared me, and come summer, I am just about to do that. Mark Kenneth, fondly called "Bolong," is only 12 and is just into dreams, just dreams, for now.
I really did not know how Maria Corazon and Eva turned from girls to women. Perhaps, they just kept it to themselves. It was different with Mabel who had a terrible stomachache when she had her first monthly period. I was at a loss what to do. I thought of rushing her to a hospital, except that a female relation told me to take it easy: it was just dysmenorrhea, which is quite very common among females, and a tablet of Midol would solve the "mess." So, that was it, some lesson for a male mother.
Eva, Maria Corazon, Bunsoy, Mabel and Bolong. They are the "loves "of my life. They have been my inspiration. They are the ones who have kept me--and still keeps me--going.
There certainly had been many trials, but on the whole, there had been more fulfilling moments. Sometimes, the weather is very hot and I don't feel like going to work, but I have to--to finance our needs and the needs are growing as the years fly.
There were instances when it would be raining hard and I'd find out that I do not have an umbrella and the streets are flooded, and it is still a long, long way from work in Manila to home in Bulacan. But I would go, eager to reach home because my "babies" are there and they are looking forward to my coming home. My meal would be ready and they would have stories to tell about school and their friends.
Many times I had to take them to the doctors for their regular, well-baby check up. There were those times when they had to be confined and I had to keep watch and start worrying where to get the money to finance their hospitalization. But God has always been very good. I have a good job; and I have very supportive siblings--one is in America and she has a wonderful job and knowing my predicament, she would come to the rescue when needed. God bless her soul.
I had also experienced the boundless joy of pinning on them medals of honor, (nightly, I take time out to help them with their homework) attending parent-teachers associations, getting their cards, and preparing their daily "baon" (meals). I likewise have gone through wonderful times bringing them to the zoo, to the mall, to the church for their first communion, to art exhibits, even to concerts, to just about anywhere that would add to the education they are getting in school. I cannot remember the many birthday parties they had celebrated year after year after year. Since I am a camera buff, I captured all those moments with glee in my camera, and it is such a beautiful experience reliving those great moments going through the photographs.
I was the one who first taught them the alphabets and numbers, how to read and write. I brought them to school on their first day of classes. Today, I still tell them stories about life. I have encouraged them to study well, offering as models my first two "babies" who have finished their studies and now have good jobs.
Bunsoy, Mabel and Bolong miss their two "ates" as terribly as I do. They believe they are real siblings because I made them think so. I have never seen them jealous of one another.
Given the chance to go through life again, I would not hesitate living the kind of life I am living now, with five wonderful children raised as my own, forever my loves and my life.
Dante C. Argañoza, 60, is a college professor and cultural worker.
posted by Dante at 2:04 AM
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