Love defined
Love defined
Posted 00:35am (Mla time) Feb 12, 2005
By Raymunda P. Ortega
Inquirer News Service
Editor's Note: Published on page A16 of the February 12, 2005 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer
HEY, this 73-year-old grandma dares to talk and write about love! It's Valentine season, so what else is there to think about?
It doesn't matter whether you're 7, 17, 27, 57 or 73 -- it's love that makes the world go round, di ba? And I believe that we who have lived a full lifetime have more to say on this subject.
To someone who is more than seven decades old like me, the meaning and essence of love may differ from those half my age or younger. May I share my own concept of love.
Lust is not love. When a boy and a girl meet for the first time and feel electricity between them, leading them to pursue their emotions, with the end in view of getting in bed together at the soonest possible time, that is not love. Although at the height of passion they may profess love for each other, that is just lust, pure and simple. They are just out to get the most from each other, to satisfy their physical needs, or to state it more bluntly, their animal instincts. They enter into such relationship and keep it up for as long as one derives satisfaction from the other, or profits from the affair materially, financially or some other way. Once satisfied, and after a time, when difficulties and problems confront the so-called lovers, they grow bitter and see each other in a different light. Their eyes are opened and they begin to realize the error they have committed.
By then, it may be too late for one or the other or both of them. They may still continue with their liaison, though unwillingly, out of necessity in order to save face. Or, they may decide to part ways like total strangers, and seek better partners elsewhere.
In a relationship based on lust alone, there is no loyalty or commitment whatsoever, and no intention to make the partnership respectable, permanent or holy by entering into the sacrament of matrimony.
Love is coupled with respect. No one can profess love for one whom he or she does not respect. The attraction may be there, but again that is just physical and has nothing to do with love. The married man who lusts for other women does not truly love or respect his wife. He cares not whether she is hurt or humiliated by his actions. He bothers not with the consequences of his liaisons. In his hierarchy of values, the feelings of his wife and family are way below his own self-interest and his self-satisfaction.
Likewise, his protestations of love for the other woman are nothing but hollow, selfish declarations. He respects her not, otherwise, he would have considered her reputation, which he has destroyed. For him, the only love he knows is what he feels for himself. He does not truly care for others, he loves only himself.
True love endures and lasts for a lifetime. Come hell or high water, come trials and tribulations, come failures and shortcomings, the man and woman, mature and responsible, truly in love and united in the holy sacrament of marriage remain steadfast and strong through the years of childbearing and caring for their family. It matters not that his hair has totally disappeared from his head; it matters not that her waistline has almost doubled its size from the day they first met each other; the couple blessed by God's love continue to hold on to each other even after their children have grown up.
Their love for one another is apparent from the way they hold on to each other as they walk by; from the way they regard each other while in the company of others. He considers her safety and comfort, and she takes into consideration his preferences more than her own in big or small matters like food, recreation and pleasure.
True love forgets self for love of others. Be it conjugal, passionate love between a man and a woman, or filial love between parents and children and among siblings, this is the love that emanates from God Himself. This is the love that God gives us. He gave us His only Son, did He not?
For those who are imbued with this kind of love, life is beautiful. We find fulfillment and joy when we share our bounty with others; when we see the goodness and image of God in our fellowmen; and when we are at peace with ourselves and with everyone around us.
The Holy Spirit of love that dwells within us enables us to forget and forego our own comfort and pleasure and to sacrifice ourselves for others.
Raymunda P. Ortega, 73, worked as a court stenographer prior to retirement in 1997. She is enjoying retirement life with her husband Piping, nine grown-up children and their spouses, 12 grandchildren, and one great-granddaughter.
Posted 00:35am (Mla time) Feb 12, 2005
By Raymunda P. Ortega
Inquirer News Service
Editor's Note: Published on page A16 of the February 12, 2005 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer
HEY, this 73-year-old grandma dares to talk and write about love! It's Valentine season, so what else is there to think about?
It doesn't matter whether you're 7, 17, 27, 57 or 73 -- it's love that makes the world go round, di ba? And I believe that we who have lived a full lifetime have more to say on this subject.
To someone who is more than seven decades old like me, the meaning and essence of love may differ from those half my age or younger. May I share my own concept of love.
Lust is not love. When a boy and a girl meet for the first time and feel electricity between them, leading them to pursue their emotions, with the end in view of getting in bed together at the soonest possible time, that is not love. Although at the height of passion they may profess love for each other, that is just lust, pure and simple. They are just out to get the most from each other, to satisfy their physical needs, or to state it more bluntly, their animal instincts. They enter into such relationship and keep it up for as long as one derives satisfaction from the other, or profits from the affair materially, financially or some other way. Once satisfied, and after a time, when difficulties and problems confront the so-called lovers, they grow bitter and see each other in a different light. Their eyes are opened and they begin to realize the error they have committed.
By then, it may be too late for one or the other or both of them. They may still continue with their liaison, though unwillingly, out of necessity in order to save face. Or, they may decide to part ways like total strangers, and seek better partners elsewhere.
In a relationship based on lust alone, there is no loyalty or commitment whatsoever, and no intention to make the partnership respectable, permanent or holy by entering into the sacrament of matrimony.
Love is coupled with respect. No one can profess love for one whom he or she does not respect. The attraction may be there, but again that is just physical and has nothing to do with love. The married man who lusts for other women does not truly love or respect his wife. He cares not whether she is hurt or humiliated by his actions. He bothers not with the consequences of his liaisons. In his hierarchy of values, the feelings of his wife and family are way below his own self-interest and his self-satisfaction.
Likewise, his protestations of love for the other woman are nothing but hollow, selfish declarations. He respects her not, otherwise, he would have considered her reputation, which he has destroyed. For him, the only love he knows is what he feels for himself. He does not truly care for others, he loves only himself.
True love endures and lasts for a lifetime. Come hell or high water, come trials and tribulations, come failures and shortcomings, the man and woman, mature and responsible, truly in love and united in the holy sacrament of marriage remain steadfast and strong through the years of childbearing and caring for their family. It matters not that his hair has totally disappeared from his head; it matters not that her waistline has almost doubled its size from the day they first met each other; the couple blessed by God's love continue to hold on to each other even after their children have grown up.
Their love for one another is apparent from the way they hold on to each other as they walk by; from the way they regard each other while in the company of others. He considers her safety and comfort, and she takes into consideration his preferences more than her own in big or small matters like food, recreation and pleasure.
True love forgets self for love of others. Be it conjugal, passionate love between a man and a woman, or filial love between parents and children and among siblings, this is the love that emanates from God Himself. This is the love that God gives us. He gave us His only Son, did He not?
For those who are imbued with this kind of love, life is beautiful. We find fulfillment and joy when we share our bounty with others; when we see the goodness and image of God in our fellowmen; and when we are at peace with ourselves and with everyone around us.
The Holy Spirit of love that dwells within us enables us to forget and forego our own comfort and pleasure and to sacrifice ourselves for others.
Raymunda P. Ortega, 73, worked as a court stenographer prior to retirement in 1997. She is enjoying retirement life with her husband Piping, nine grown-up children and their spouses, 12 grandchildren, and one great-granddaughter.
posted by Dante at 12:35 AM
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